Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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