Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize
