I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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