Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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