He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
