Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
i've created a new STD.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize