Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
