I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
