god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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