I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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