Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
