the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
