I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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