I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
she smelled like a LAN party
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
