I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I'm determined to sit on that face.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
