I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Randomize
