Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
40s are totally the cure
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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