Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize