I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Randomize
