Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
