we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Randomize
