It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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