were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
