He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Randomize
