Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
