update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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