I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
