This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
