Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
