I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
