She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
my liver is dry heaving
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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