its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I take back everything I said about communal showers
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
