Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
