He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize