Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
two words...techno handjob
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
