are you so shy because you have an std?
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
