I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Randomize
