Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Randomize
