So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
