Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
