is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
