You really coming over, don't trick.
Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
