I didn't shave. On purpose
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
