can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
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