Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
