I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Randomize
