I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
