so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize