and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Randomize
