I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
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