The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
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