i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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