it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Randomize
