If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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