I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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