so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
