you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Randomize
