All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
If that was your dad, he is hot
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize