i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
