How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
