After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
