I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
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