I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
