Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
