New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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