u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize