I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
