I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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