So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
