Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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