Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Randomize
